Living Golden

Living Golden 

I feel that in the last few weeks, God has given me a truly wonderful present.   The last few years, there have been things that I have wished would have happened by now or certain things that I wished had transpired differently.  There have been things that I desired that I now see stopped me from truly cherishing the life that I already have. 

I often wished that I had made more steps to further my education or was better off financially or had children already or had accomplished this or that.  For the most part, there isn’t anything particularly wrong with any of these desires.  They are common and understandable enough. I mean unless you have Oprah money, who wouldn’t like to pad their nest egg more and unless you’ve been a career college student with multiple degrees under your belt, who wouldn’t like to learn more in order to be more productive?  The problem is that even though there is nothing wrong with those desires, there was something wrong with the hold that they had on me.  I realize that the time that I spent looking back caused me to miss blessings that were right in front of me.  God seemed to literally open my eyes and I saw things in a totally new aspect.

Now, my Father knows how I am.  I like to have facts and see things in writing.  Even to justify why I feel a certain way or believe a certain thing, I like to find in writing somewhere that my opinions are actually based on something. I don’t tend to not like or do something without looking into it first. 

My Father understands this and gave me this desire for insight and when He opened my eyes to the fact that I was using too much time looking back instead of appreciating where I currently am, He gently urged me to read Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV ‘There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.’ 

Now something that I have learned is that God is not partial in anything that He does.  When He says there is a time for everything that is exactly what He means.  But the thing to remember is that it is God’s timing, not ours.  God knows when we need what we need and when we are ready to receive the things that we desire.  He knows and only puts on us what we can bear, yes good and bad.  We should trust Him and enjoy the gift of now. 

This is not to say that plans and goals should not be set.  We should always strive to be better and be more productive but not at the cost of wasting the beauty in life that God has already given us.


Thanks to Selena for your 'golden' example!

The song that comes to mind is Jill Scott’s ‘Golden’. Muzikspeak, looks at the lyrics.

What is your Claim?

I claim victory over every bad situation


This is a status a friend of mine's put on Facebook. At first I read it, liked it and moved on but five minutes later I found myself still thinking about it. Allow me a moment to share my thought process with you on this and I pray that this statement will bless you as much as it is blessing me.

I claim victory over every bad situation. This statement packs a punch each time you say it. Looking at the word claim, Dictionary.com defines it as to demand by or as by virtue of a right; demand as a right or as due: to assert and demand the recognition of (a right, title, possession, etc); assert one's right to: to assert or maintain as fact; to require as due or fitting. To claim something requires a certain mindset, a certain determination, a belief that you are right and entitled to what you are stating. You cannot claim something unless you have a conqueror's mindset and sense of entitlement. If you try to claim something without fully believing and walking in the fact that you are entitled to it, you are wishing. Now if we substitute wish in this statement - I wish victory over every bad situation - You are already defeated. A wish never has to be granted but a demand or a claim must be respected.

Now, if we look at the word Victory, I am sure there are people that can already feel excitement rising. When we think of the things that we have been delivered from and are now victorious over, it takes a whole lot to keep your composure. Looking again to trusty Dictionary.com, victory is defined as a success or triumph over an enemy in battle or war (we'll keep moving because that could be a praise break right there!), the ultimate and decisive superiority in any battle or contest. So if we look at victory, this isn't something that happens accidentally or by chance. You make a decision that you will not be denied and you go get it, by any means necessary. You take on a David mindset and any giant that stands in your path has to fall because you are empowered by the most high God and you will not be denied.

Now moving on, we will combine over and every. There might be a question as to why but just follow with me. Over, not under. Head and not the tail. Above and not beneath. More than conquerors. Who does that describe? It describes the children of God. It describes you and me. He has made us more than conquerors and there is no enemy that can defeat us, there is no weapon that has been or will be formed that can defeat us. We have the heart of the Almighty and He hears our every cry, even our smallest whisper. Bringing us to every. There is not one single thing that can defeat us as children of God if we hold on to the promise of God. Claim your victory in Him and walk upright knowing that we are His children and He is our God and there is no other. If you choose to trust in your own strength and understanding, you are allowing room for the enemy to move in and destroy you. Lean not unto your own understanding.

Bad situation, we've all had these. Some are not as bad as others. Some may even be able to be classified as uncomfortable or trying or even bothersome but maybe not necessarily bad but we have all been through things that have tried our faith or confidence. For everything that comes against you, your family, your faith in God, know that there is no weapon formed against you that can prosper. Whenever one door closes, another opens. No matter how hard it gets, look for the other side. I know it is not easy and I don't always remember to do that but when I do finally get myself together and remember who I am and whose I am, I can look back and see how God moved things and made things better for me on my behalf even when I felt the sun had stopped shining and the world had passed me by.

So, I invite and encourage you to stand up in your rightful place knowing Who you belong to and Who has called you to good success and who has every good thing for you. Claim victory over every bad situation right now. Don't hold anything back. God is only waiting for you to acknowledge Him and ask. State your claim with the authority as a child of the Most High God. He has given you every right to do so.

Thank you April for your transparency and encouragement....

Simply be grateful

It's been quite a while since my last post. God blessed my with a revelation about family recently and I have been kind of marinating on it for a while but now it is time to share.

I have been blessed with a wonderful family in Florida. My family in Florida became so initially by way of marriage. When God blessed me with my husband, He also blessed me with a wonderful family that I feel like I have been a part of forever. They often ask about my family in Virginia and constantly ask me when I will visit again. I have never been anxious to visit for reasons I had not wanted to address but was brought face to face with just a few weeks ago.

I had the priviledge of watching my sister (she is actually my cousin but has always been more like a sister) get married the last weekend in July. It was a beautiful event and I was blessed to be a part of the wedding. I was absolutely overjoyed to watch her be united to a wonderful man. You can tell by his presence and the words, expressions and attitudes of his family and friends that he is a wonderfully loving and caring person and to see the two of them be joined in such a sacred and precious union was truly a blessing and I am honored to have been included.

The weeks prior to the trip I was tremendously apprehensive. I wasn't sure how the trip would go, we had problems finding tickets, our car wanted to act up and I hadn't been back to Virginia in many years so I wasn't quite sure of the reception. I love my family and I know that they love me but I tend to guard my emotions but these were people that birthed, raised and nurtured me for a number of years. How would it go?

Seeing these people that I love so much almost made my heart break free from my chest. I could not believe how much I had missed seeing them and being a part of their conversations. Just to be in the room and feel their love for each other and the intimate family chatter was priceless. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment and the time passed entirely too fast.

The thing that I had always secretly been afraid of happened the night we all were parting ways after the wedding reception. I love every member of my family but the person that I love so dearly in the world, I had to leave behind again, only to communicate with via text message, email and phone. Some people have called us twins and at times I wonder. My baby sis is six years younger than I am but we think alike and talk alike, have the same tendencies...it's really quite weird when I think about it. I even took one of those personality test emails that float around the internet and she was my "twin soul'! That was kind of funny! When my husband and I got in the car to leave I actually cried. Now crying is not something that I do a lot of. I personally don't like to do so and am usually pretty well at keeping my feelings, especially the outer expression of them under control. But the thought of leaving my little sister again was a little much for me to bear.

I realized that I don't relish the thought of going back because I know the time will come when you have to leave again.

I love both of my my families and realize that I am TREMENDOUSLY blessed to have each and every family member that God has blessed me with.

Like I said before, I was slightly apprehensive about the trip but God showed me that I am blessed in so many ways. I am truly thankful for every member of my family. I love my mother and my father and am blessed to still have both in my life. I am thankful for my grandparents and for having the opportunity to see them again. I am thankful for all of aunties, uncles, cousins, sisters and brothers.

I am a person that loves for things to be categorized and one thing that bothered me before the trip was that I didn't know who should fit where in the table if I tried to put things neatly in my head. I couldn't very well put this person in a spot that might seem to hold more honor or respect than another spot. What God showed me is that when it comes to family, you don't need tables or pie charts or organizational charts. He has blessed me with a heart that is overfilling with overwhelming love for every member of my family and the common sense to realize that I am very very blessed.

He blessed me with my natural family from birth to 1999. On March 19, 1999 He blessed me with another family and there is no rank structure or seniority dates needed. I love each and every member of my family. God has blessed me where relationships are not determined by in-law or marriage or first or second cousin...its all categorized as family. No sub-category needed.

So the one thing I would share from what I learned is don't allow the need to categorize everything in life cause you to miss the blessing of now. In attempting to make everything neat and perfect, you could very well miss the precious sweetness and single greatness of the moment.

Don't over-analyze the blessings in your life. Thank God and enjoy them, appreciate them!

Your Treasure

There is a competition going on for the treasure inside you. When God formed us, He instilled or invested a treasure in each and every one of us. That treasure is not for us to store up and horde for ourselves. It is to be used to help the kingdom of God grow.

There is a competition for that treasure inside of you. Who is winning the battle? Are you keeping your gift just to yourself? Are you afraid to share because someone may take your place or prove you not necessary? Are you avoiding the use of your gift so that you can fit in and not stick out among your peers? If any of this sounds familiar, the right side may not winning.

With the gift that God has given you, no one can do it like you. Yes there may be other people doing what you are but you have something unique to bring to the table but you will never know what it is if you don't use your gift. No one else's gift will take your place. God made you and your gift and it is needed. There are people hurting, hungering, needing the voice that you have, needing you to use what God has given you.

Step out and be what God has called you to be. It may not be anything more than you saying yes to God. Stepping out doesn't mean that you are going to instantly be on blast. By stepping out and becoming a yielded vessel, you give God room to move and make you. You will come out of your comfort zone for sure but if you move in God, you will be out of your comfort zone but not from under your covering.

Which side is winning the battle for your treasure?

What is your song?

Psalms 118:14 “The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.”

What is the song in your heart? What is it that you allow to give you strength? Look at the fruits of the things around you. Are you singing a song of despair and destitution? How about a song of fear and anger? Is your day consumed with bickering and hateful sayings? Are you a gray cloud over someone else’s day? What are the reactions of people when you cross paths? Do they readily greet you with a smile or quickly avert their eyes and are suddenly busy with concentrating on putting one foot in front of another?

We can quickly gauge what our attitude says about us by observing how friends, family and co-workers respond to us. Are you constantly in disagreement with others? Why is that? When you meet someone are they ready to engage in conversation with you or are they looking for the nearest exit?

These things can help you find out what your true song is. We can say that the Lord is our song but is it true in action? If you are singing a song of sadness and defeat, you will always reap this in your life. Instead, change the channel. Sing a song of gladness. Sing a song full of God’s goodness and grace. Sing a song of love and forgiveness and watch how your tree of relationships blooms new blossoms with friends you didn’t know you had and restored lines of communications.

It is a joy to speak with a man of a glad heart but agony to stand in the midst of one full of turmoil and strife.

Be a welcome place for others. Sing a glad song in your heart and let your life be one of a shining example of God’s love and grace.

Daily Diet

What is it that you are feeding off of? What do you use to nourish yourself? Brain food, junk food or soul food?

Which of these are we feeding off of most often?

Brain food – Knowledge and the pursuit of that knowledge. Knowledge in and of itself is not bad but do we use that knowledge to ‘explain God’. Do we use that knowledge to analyze His word or instruction to the point of inactivity, using more time examining than doing? Is that pursuit of knowledge drowning out the voice of God? Proverbs 3:5 ASV ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding’.

Junk food –Spiritually, mentally and physically junk food tastes and feels good but does you no good. Spiritually, are we spending time just doing the things that feel good but spending no real time actually nourishing our soul? Are we only spending time just listening to the music or the Word but never taking the time to really digest it, to put it to use in our lives? Spending time reading and meditating on His word, spending time in His presence, praying, waiting and listening for His voice.

Soul food –are we really seeking God’s soul food? Food that nourishes the soul and fosters true growth. Fasting and prayer, reading and meditating, growing in love and patience.

What is my spiritual diet? What do I feed my soul on a daily basis? To come to a place of spiritual health, we have to spend time and devote ourselves to the Maker’s Diet – 66 books, 365 days, 1 Lord, 1 Savior.

Independence Day

Today is the day we celebrate our independence as a nation but why not also take this day to celebrate your own independence?

As children of God, we are no longer slaves to sin.  We are no longer held captive by the desires of our flesh and tempted by evil things.  We are children of the most high God and we are free to do His will and pursue His calling on our lives.

My brother asked a question last night, do you know when you were saved?  Do you know the exact date?  I didn't at the time.  I remember the day itself and I remember what happened and I know that even though after that date I made some mistakes and made some wrong turns and even fell out of fellowship with God but I was still saved.  Please understand that being saved does not mean that you don't make mistakes or you don't sin.  We sin everyday.  Sins of omission (not doing something that you should do or a command of God) sins in thought (thinking unclean things, even thinking negative or spiteful things about others.  Yes even that fleeting thought counts), the list could go on and on.  Sin is not just the big things such as murder, theft or adultery.  The size doesn't matter sin is sin.  So, being saved doesn't make you exempt or perfect, it makes you a son.  A forgiven, loved child of God.  So since being saved means so much, why not take the time to think back and remember that day you got saved.  Once you have that date, celebrate it as your Independence Day.  Celebrate every day that you are no longer in the darkness but walking in light but just like you appreciate every day but have a special celebration on your birthday, do the same with the day you got saved.  Until you get that date, how about celebrating today?

Happy Independence Day to you and may you have good success in everything that you strive to do for the kingdom of God!  

Faith to Faith

What does it mean to go from faith to faith? This question hit me a couple of different ways.

One being that faith is a decision. You decide if you are going to have faith in something. You decide if you are going to rely on God’s word and promise. We don’t have to have faith. Of course, having faith makes things much easier because you are no longer relying on your strength or wisdom to bring something to pass. This is a good thing because if I had to rely on myself, I would be in a bad way. I can’t rely on myself to inhale and exhale. Imagine if I had to rely on myself for salvation? What if I ‘forgot’ to be saved one day and that turned out to be my last day.

Another way this hit me is faith is a function of knowing and believing something you haven’t yet seen or received. One way that this affects me is that I have faith that one day, I will be a mother. Now, this has been a rocky path for me but for me, exercising that faith has been to speak that ‘yes I will be a mother. Yes I am a mother’. I will have three beautiful and healthy children and God has even given me their full names. You know what helps me ‘remember’ to have faith? A combination of their initials is my user name for a program that I use. Every time I type it, it is an unconscious reminder that it will come to pass. I believe in a promise that I have from God even though I have not seen it.

The other way that this thought hits me is God’s grace is renewed every day. No matter the measure of grace that was given to us the previous day, it is new with each day. It is not re-used or recycled. It is fresh-off-the-shelf new. God doesn’t give us an allotted amount per month and if you hit it early you’re out of luck. His grace is new every single day. Imagine if we chose to have faith this way. What if we woke up each morning and consciously said, ‘Ok, yesterday was rough. The doctor said this or my paycheck ran out too soon. My child was disobedient or my spouse and I had yet another fight but you know what that was yesterday’s battle. I have renewed faith today that I am healed, God will make a way, my child will not be a lost cause, my spouse and I will be together for another 100 years and we will be happy and a blessing to others. My health won’t fade, I won’t lose my job, my child will be a productive part of society and the kingdom of God, my marriage will be a success and a testament to God’s grace and blessing in our union.’

Choose to renew your faith every day. Choose not to operate on day old faith. Don’t let the enemy sneak in a rib shot to your faith. Hit him with a one-two combo. 1) I know who and whose I am. 2) I am more than an over-comer, I am victorious.

Mini Me

As birthdays come and go, sometimes we lose sight of our inner child.  The person that loves to laugh and giggle and splash in little water puddles.  Where is your inner child?  

Don't lose that person within you that loves to have fun.  The child that looks in the sky and finds puppies and flowers and dragons in the clouds.  Don't lose that child-like wonder when you see new things or when you look at old things in a new way.

Fall in love with your inner child again.  Embrace that innocence and joy.  Relish the melody of your laughter.

Grace

‘Where would I be, if not for your grace carrying me in every season?  Where would I be if not for your grace? You came to my rescue and I want to thank you for your grace.’  These are the opening words to Israel Houghton’s song ‘If Not for Your Grace’ from ‘A Deeper Level: Live’.

Have you ever stopped to ponder where you would be without God’s grace?

This song is actually my alarm tone in the morning and everyday it makes me stop and thank God for where I am.  It makes me realize that I am not here because of anything that I have done or said, I am here because of God’s grace and because He has kept me here, He has things for me to do and by His grace I am able to do them.

When I think about that question my answer is an easy and quick one.  For a quick second, let’s imagine an interview between you and me.

You:  MzWilz, where would you be right now without God’s grace in your life?

Me: You know, that is a great question that deserves a great answer.  Dead.

You: Excuse me?

Me: I would be dead.

I know that’s not what some imagined transpiring but that is the honest answer, no smoke, no mirrors, no frilly words to make it sound or look better.  Just the honest, bare-bones truth.

If it had not been for God’s grace in my life, I would be dead. 

For many years I was suicidal and got closer to the edge of taking my own life than I would care to admit but each time, it was God’s grace that saved me and it was God’s grace that showed me that I am more valuable and treasured than I could ever imagine.  It was God’s grace that showed me that I do have a purpose and that He has called me to serve others and that my voice is needed and that by taking my own life, I would be dishonoring Him.

Never underestimate the power of God’s grace.

The song later says ‘Grace that restores, grace that redeems, grace that releases me to worship, grace that repairs visions and dreams, grace that releases miracles’.

Recognize God’s grace in your life and thank Him for it and never forget that you are where you are in life and you are who you are by His grace.  We might not be everything that we would like to be but we are works in progress because we are ever striving to become more like Him.

What has grace done for you lately?

What is YOUR Story?

I have been following the NBA playoffs and I find tonight's outcome of the Orlando/Cleveland game quite inspiring.  Now some people might say that I think this because I must obviously be an Orlando fan.  Well, I am but that is not what I mean.  Let me Mindspeak about it and elaborate what insight I gained from this.

During the playoffs, there have been many commercials and conversations concerning the show down of Lebron and Kobe, two phenomenal players indeed.  Commercials have depicted LeBron and Kobe together and they were really working to program people as to what they should expect to see in the finals.  I must admit that even my husband and I discussed the playoffs early on and I talked about how it would be LeBron and Kobe and how interesting it would be to watch.  I have heard many people talk this way.  Talking about how the final would be set up before the first round was played out.  But what I find interesting is that no matter how much people thought they knew what the outcome would be, the Orlando Magic knew that their story had not been completed.

They knew that no matter what people said or wrote, their story was yet to be told.  They didn't give up on what could be a great triumph and achievement all because of what people said about them.  They chose to believe in what they knew about themselves.  They understood that the words they speak to themselves are more powerful than words from anyone else.  People can say and do any and every thing and we all have a thought or opinion on things.  Opinions are like air, they are always floating around.  But Orlando was not swayed or defined by what other people thought or said about them.

That encourages me because I know that no matter what has been said to me or about me, my story isn't over.  People may tell  you that you will never be this or you can't achieve beyond a certain level and they can say whatever they like but it is not a part of your story unless you choose to let it be.  You are the author of your story.  You are the editor of the novel of you.  You are the editor and publisher and you have the final say in what your story will be.  

I think we all can and should take a key point out of the example from the Orlando Magic.  Your story is never over until you say so.  People can think and even be bold enough to say all kinds of things to you and about you but until you choose to believe it, it doesn't have to have any effect on your life.  Your story is never over until you say so.

Choose to take an active role and write your own story and don't let others write it for you.  Don't be a contributing author to your story, be the author.  Write your success because you are what you say you are and God created us all to be victors and over-comers.

What will you choose to have your story say about you?

Be truly happy!

For people that know me, the next statement is not going to be something that takes you by surprise. For quite a while now, I have been hoping to be a mother. I have been waiting and waiting for children and sometimes it has gotten hard, very hard. It is something that both my husband and I want and we have prayed together, sat up late nights, talked to friends, everything. We've even had a few times when we thought we were pregnant only to receive contrary news from the doctor. Those have been some pretty hard times but my personal hardest times would come on Mother's day. 

For the past 3 Mother's Days, I have opted to stay home where I can just be to myself because it has honestly been painful to be out on that day, constantly confronted with the fact that it had been another whole year, 365 days, 12 months, countless hours and we were still not parents. Don't get me wrong, I love my Mom and we would all have dinner together and she would get presents from us. That would all happen later in the day and in the safety of family that knew the deal and it was never a discussion. This year though, God put it on my heart that its not even about the pain or hurt that I am feeling, its all about Him and His glory. God gave me an opportunity to realize that I could step outside of myself and see things how they are. Yes, I have a desire but yes He will fill that in His perfect time so until that time, be an example and a willing and yielded vessel that God can use. So, I made up my mind (with a little higher power help!) that I would go to church on Mother's Day. 

As I was on my way to church, God gave me a desire to give cards to our friends who were mothers. I have to admit, He comes up with some good ideas! So off to the store I went and my husband and I gave out a few cards to some of the mothers that we know. Don't you know that when I stopped focusing on what I was feeling, God enabled me to be a blessing to someone else.  It seems that people really liked the cards. Isn't that something! That truly made us feel good that we could help someone else feel good. 

After all that God showed me this scripture, Colossians 1:11 (cev) 'His glorious power will make you patient and strong enough to endure anything, and you will be truly happy.' I can say that I am truly happy. I have a wonderful husband that keeps life fun, wonderful family all around and sitting in church Sunday I realized that I have been really really blessed because we have two beautiful God children and we love them dearly! Our god-daughter walked up to me Sunday and gave me a giant hug! It was priceless! 

For those of us who are going through things, just know that when you are God's child, He has your back. It may not seem like it or feel like it or look like it but He does. He has proven this to me in many different areas of my life and now He has given me yet another weapon to use when the enemy tries to tell me otherwise, Colossians 1:11. Be truly happy!

Comic book only or is there more to it?

Each child of God is embodied with a gift and a talent and there are people that God has blessed with the ability to nurture that gifting or talent to be a gift to the whole kingdom of God. These remind me of Superheroes.

The ‘Mind Reader” is an example of Discernment and Empathy. When you can look at something and see it not only for what it is but for what is lying underneath. When you truly tune in to what someone is feeling and going through and minister to them in a way that brings healing and wholeness and a new breath that revives and restores them and enables them to be able to help someone else to gain healing. You minister in a way that helps people know that you care and are not just present in the moment but sharing your heart with them.

The ‘Regenerator’ is an example of Faith. Knowing that no matter how I put myself out there for God, He has my back, for there is no weapon formed against me that will prosper Isaiah 54:17. God has placed His shield around me and although it may not be pretty right now, I will emerge as one beautified. I am made beautiful as I follow His direction and will.

The ‘Time Traveler’ is an example of a Prophet. A prophet receives from God a word and shares it with others with the authority and command of God. This can be something that is going to happen or a greater revelation of why something has already happened. A prophet speaks to people not only in their current position but speaks a word of exhortation to bring encouragement and peace to others. A prophet hears directly from God and God's word is always a rhema word, a perfect word for the situation.

These ‘Superheroes’ are really evangelists if you think about it. Evangelism is spreading the word of God. You are teaching to others that they may in turn take it to more people, the power of multiplicity. Evangelism gives the Word of God the ability to take flight to others. It reaches far beyond you and the number of people that you can touch just yourself just in the area you are. Matthew 10:16 - 17 ESV "but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And proclaim as you go, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand." Jesus said this to His disciples but it also rings true for us. We are to spread the Word of God and not hold it to ourselves. When we do not share the Word of God or act as if we are ashamed or embarrassed to be children of God, we are denying Him. Matthew 10:33, ESV "but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven."
We are all called to be disciples. We are all called to teach and be examples of God's love and grace. We are His living, breathing and walking examples and we must represent Him fully because as it has been said, we may very well be the only bible that some people ever read.

Know that as a child of God, you are constantly being watched and this is not a bad thing. Let those that watch you see an example of God. Let your life be a catalyst for change in someone else's life for if you are not inspiring change or growth in someone else you are truly missing the boat. Matthew 5:13, MSG "Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you loose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You've lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage."

Don't end up in the garbage pail of life. Be who God has called you to be and inspire change, growth and a desire for a relationship with God in others.

Be a God-Hero, that is what He has already created you to be.

Poem

MY PAIN

Out of my pain flows a beauty this world has never seen
Out of my pain grows an appreciation for those different from me
Out of my pain my eyes are opened wide to see the hurts of others
Out of my pain my heart is made tender to love and to nurture
Out of my pain I learn more about me
Out of my pain I understand more about you.

What is in my pain?

What is the anatomy of my pain?

My pain is hurt from feelings trampled under foot
But I begin to understand that same foot has walked a lonely path
My pain is from tears cried over words spoken from those who seemed not to care
But as I listen I hear their pain from days, weeks, months and years of being locked in despair

My pain is from dreams shattered from negative criticism
But now I realize that criticism stems from a shattered vessel broken by too many put downs and too much shame

What does your pain bring?
What does your pain allow you to see?

Just as our giftings are not just for us but for others to benefit
Our pain is to be a lesson to love others more than ourselves.

From a heart that has grown through pain LMW

The cost of obedience

Why does it seem to take so much energy or courage to be obedient to the voice of God? It seems that some of the instructions He gives are not easy to comply with and we try to cut a deal with God. ‘If you can let me do it this way instead, I promise I will pray more tomorrow.’ ‘If I can give them a handshake instead of a hug, I promise I will put a little more in my offering.’ ‘How about I don’t call that person today but tell them Sunday that I was thinking about them? That would be good enough right?’

Why is it that we try to get around the things that God instructs us to do? Is it because of fear of rejection? Could it be that maybe we are not confident within ourselves that we truly know the voice of God?

Why do we put the cost of our obedience so high?

What was the real cost paid for obedience? Mark 14:34 – 36 tells us the cost that was paid for obedience. Jesus knew why He had been sent, what His purpose was and He was obedient to the point of His death. Verse 34 shows the intense emotion that Jesus felt, (NASB) ‘My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death…’ even in that state, He did not stray from the will of God. Verse 36 shows that the thought crossed his mind but He followed it by saying, ‘yet not what I will, but what you will’. How many times are we presented with a difficult task and we just do our will? We don’t even acknowledge the fact that we are taking our own path. We figure God understands, that was too much for me anyway.

Think of what and where we would be if Jesus had decided the cost of His obedience was too much. The cost of His obedience was the cross. The cost of our individual acts of obedience may be discomfort or possible rejection but do you know the payoff? A soul may come to know Christ. A life may be saved. Will you be the one to say, ‘Yes Lord, Your will be done in my life. Use me as an example. Use me as Your hands, Your touch, and Your voice to someone who cannot hear You right now?’

Is the price we pay to be obedient higher than the ultimate price that Jesus paid?

Chasing?

Chasing after God, what does it really mean?

As I sit and ponder this question, it stirs something deep within my heart. Could this be that just thinking of what it means to chase after God awakens a part of us that no man, thing or action can touch? The desire that He put within us when He created us that only He can touch, the void that only He can fill, the thirst that only He can quench, that hunger that only He can satisfy.

There are many things that we do to try to fill these things outside of God and His design. Oftentimes it isn’t even intentional. Think of people around you who truly love God. You can see it in their actions, in the way they carry themselves and treat others. There are people that truly love God and want to do His will and be that Godly example in the world but still end up searching for something. That next high, no it doesn’t mean drugs or alcohol but people get ‘high’ off of a variety of things. Shopping, writing, drawing, eating, exercising, surfing the net, reading a book, chatting online, none of these things are bad in and of themselves but what if we are using these to try to fill something that only God can fill?

How often do I feel that hunger and grab a good book instead or find something to fix or make something just right? I can honestly say that I am a perfectionist and there is a rush you get when something is done just right or something comes out just the way you planned it but you know what, only God is perfect. In being a perfectionist, it is just like running on a treadmill. No matter how fast or hard you run, you are not going anywhere. That is what happens when you strive to make everything perfect. There is nothing wrong with working things in a spirit of excellence or pushing to be the best at what you do but perfection is only perfection in your eyes. No one else can meet your standards of perfection. But when you are a perfectionist and that plan comes out just the way you planned it or this or that happens, you get a little rush. Are you replacing God with a search for that rush? What would happen if you didn’t focus that time and attention on that one detail but turned it instead towards understanding God’s voice? What if instead of shopping for 3 hours, you spent 30 minutes in God’s word understanding more what is written and how it affects you?

What does it mean when we chase after God? To me, it reminds of what was said in Phillipians 3: 13 and 14. In my own understanding, what I take away from that is, I am not saying I am perfect or that I have made it but what I do know is that I lay aside and forget all of the past things and focus on God. I press and move and fight towards His example.

Is that what chasing God is? Leaving all the other stuff by the wayside, forgetting what your spouse said that irritated you, forgetting the ones that said you would never amount to anything, forgetting that best friend that betrayed your trust and focusing on God and all that He did and does for you. Focusing on the blessings that He gives on a daily basis that many of us take for granted. Focusing on truly listening for and to His voice. Understanding that in God’s eyes, obedience is greater than sacrifice and that in order to please Him, we must obey Him. Our sacrifice, no matter what it may be, is nothing without obedience to His word.

How do I chase after Him? By desiring and seeking to know Him. By reading and learning and meditating on His word to seek and understand His plan for my life and how He uses me to help others to know Him.

GodChaser? I can get with that.